
Calling the Skeena River one of the most hazardous bodies of water in Northern B.C., a provincial department has banned the public from going in or near the water.
The Department of Aquatic Management, a small arm of the Ministry of the Environment, has gone the extraordinary route of issuing an “Aquatic Restraining Order,” which bars anyone from stepping foot within 20 metres of the banks of the Skeena. The regulation is a part of the Lakes & Rivers Act, and has been invoked only three times in its 55-year history.
“Obviously we only use the Aquatic Restraining Order as a last resort,” said Charles Madill, an official with the Department of Aquatic Management. “We don’t take this sort of thing lightly.”
The restraining order bars anyone from going near the Skeena, including fishermen, tourists, campers, and hikers. Madill said the decision was made after officials with the ministry found high levels of carbon trioxide in the water.
“We’re now testing the water to see what could have caused this high reading of CO3,” said Madill. “It could be bits of coal from Ridley Terminals, it could be small pieces of rubber that fly off of motorists’ tires along Highway 16. It could even be from high amounts of diesel fuel that leaked out of boats.”
Madill said the restraining order will be enforced by sending 250 members of the enforcement branch of the Ministry of the Environment, as well as 100 members of the RCMP that will be detailed to the Skeena. These officials, he said, will stand sentry along the banks of the Skeena, from Tyee to Terrace, ensuring that nobody breaks the restraining order.
Environmentalists were mixed in their opinion for the decision to implement the restraining order. “On the one hand, it’s good to see the government taking action to ensure the river stays safe for future generations,” said Jan Noodle, a member of the Alpine Club. “On the other, I think it’s a little extreme. I was hoping to go fishing there in a few weeks.”
In case you hadn’t figured it out by now, this is quite obviously an April Fool’s joke.
Happy April Fool’s Day!